The Last Time I Saw You
by Tsubasa3
Summary: This is sad. A member of the Yakuza comes back for Yahiko and finds Kaoru and she is killed. Yahiko has a hard time coping with her death and gives up studying the Kamiya Kasshin, but can Kenshin convince him to pick up the sword once again for Kaoru?
1. She's Gone Now

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, the original storyline, any of the characters, none of it. Neither am I making a profit off of this in any way. This is only for entertainment purposes.  
  
Step Right, Swing Right  
  
Step Left, Swing Left  
  
Right, Right, Left, Left  
  
Swing all the way, Pause  
  
1...2...3...4...  
  
Yes, that's right, keep it going. Repeat, repeat. Yes, keep going.  
  
I stopped abruptly by a noise, like wood cracking and breaking; it was close. Cautiously, I approached, my wooden sword poised. I gasped when I saw a man with knives standing in the dojo, behind him the wood of the wall had been completely smashed. He came after me and I tried to deflect his attack. But I was too late, and he overpowered me instantly, holding a knive pressed to the skin of my throat. I closed my eyes, trying to stay calm as he dragged me to the floor. I felt my neck go numb as some of my blood spilled to the floor. Moments later, I passed out.  
  
~~switches to Yahiko's POV~~  
  
Blood. There was a lot of blood obviously. And Kaoru was there too, her clothes ripped and her hair messy. The bleeding had stopped mostly, but there was still a lot.  
  
Kenshin, Sano, Megumi, and I had been at the Akabeko for lunch. Kaoru didn't want to come and said she wanted to stay behind and practice. Apparently, someone from the Shuei Yakuza had come back for me, but only found Kaoru, and I guess they tried to kill her.  
  
Now, Megumi was over her, checking her pulse, examining her wounds, with help from Dr. Genzai. Kenshin, Sano, and I, all stood back to let them work. I was so lost in my thoughts I didn't even hear Kenshin talking to me.  
  
"Yahiko?"  
  
"Huh?" I said.  
  
"Yahiko, are you all right?" Kenshin asked. I gave him a look that told him I wasn't all right at all. He just nodded.  
  
"Yeah, Kenshin, I'm fine," I said. Though, truthfully, inside I was raging inside with hatred for the Shuei Yakuza. They had hurt Kaoru; she meant a lot to me. In many ways, she was just like a sister, a best friend, a role model.  
  
Meanwhile, Suzume and Ayame peeked their heads out from behind a door. Kenshin turned solemnly and ushered the young girls away. Suzume began crying and Kenshin gave her a hug and pulled Ayame into his embrace as well, while whispering comforting words to them.  
  
I envied the girls. Right then, I really needed to collapse emotionally and cry. It doesn't matter that I am the descendant of a long line of proud samurais; everyone is allowed to cry sometime. I didn't feel like preserving my pride and dignity as a man then. I was too angry, to hateful, and too sad to do much of anything. I just wanted to cry. I let the tears rim my eyes, but they refused to fall yet.  
  
Megumi and Dr. Genzai seemed more hurried and flustered now; they were rushed. But I didn't see any of that, I didn't even see Kaoru in the current reality. I just saw our memories, all the times we shared together. She told me she would take my secrets to the grave with her. But now, it seemed that was closer than expected.  
  
Megumi gasped and Dr. Genzai gave her a worried look. They scrambled to help Kaoru for a few moments.  
  
"She's suffered major blood loss, I don't know if she'll make it," Megumi whispered to Dr. Genzai so that Suzuma and Ayame wouldn't hear. Kenshin came back over by us and I could see the worry and fear reflected in his eyes. Even Sano looked distressed.  
  
Suddenly Megumi and Dr. Genzai stopped working and settled back. I hated the look on their faces. I prepared for the worst, because I had a feeling I was about to hear the most devastating news in my life.  
  
Megumi stood and came over to us. She looked to the ground and then forced herself to look us straight.  
  
"She's gone. Kaoru is dead, there's no way we can save her." I felt my knees go weak and I felt disbelief ripple through me. But reality soon sunk in and I sunk to my knees, burying my face in my hands as I began to cry uncontrollably.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
*sniffles* How sad. Did you like it? 


	2. Coping

Heh! You know, this story was originally going to be a one-chapter story; Kaoru dies, Yahiko is sad. Well, I think I'll write more actually. ^__^ I hope this second chapter is as good as the first.  
  
Note: I did research as to see whether the thermometer existed in the late 1800's. The basic thermometer and the system in which heat is measured known as thermometry, was invented in 1714.  
  
The grave read clearly in kanji: Kamiya Kaoru, Kamiya Kasshin Sword Stlyist and Assistant Master. Megumi and Dr. Genzai had each given a medical item- bandages and a simple thermometer- which they set in the grave. Sano had given away his "lucky" wrist bands, and Kenshin had given some flowers and a pair of his sandals. I, I gave my wooden sword. That was her sword once, and now I was giving it back to her. I swore that evening of the day Kaoru died I would stop learning swordsmanship. Kaoru was my one and only Sensei, and it would remain that way. I swore to never use a sword again.  
  
And so they buried her with all that we had given, my sword included. We all cried, myseld included. Megumi and Dr. Genzai wished they could have done more, and Sano and Kenshin each felt sad as well for Kaoru's death. And I felt guilty that she had been killed for no good reason at all, just because someone at the Shuei was out for a good kill and was hoping it would be me, but they found her instead.  
  
Now that she was gone, everything seemed so silent and utterly dead around the dojo, at the Akabeko, everywhere. Her absence was deeply felt among us; it seemed as if no one laughed for days. No one even tried to lighten the mood, each one of us felt completely broken. I would lie awake sometimes at night, not able to sleep, because of the wretching feeling in my heart. Sometimes I would wake from dreams filled of memories of when Kaoru was alive. And then I would wake up, and I couldn't stop the tears. Over the last few days, I had emotionally crumbled. I wanted to die with her, so that this feeling of despair and hopelessness went away.  
  
*~spring's blooms~*  
  
Kenshin had noticed I wasn't practicing lately and I think he was starting to become worried about me. I cared little if any of this fact and simply did nothing but sit and watch the wall of the dojo, gazing at the swords lined against the wall in the corners. I would close my eyes and I could feel her presence there; I could feel it touch me and make me warm. The training room was the only place I could be in peace without breaking down. There, I felt newly found stability and assurance.  
  
The days passed and the others seemed to have recovered from Kaoru's death quickly. I too, could feel my emotional wounds healing, but there would always be the scar. And even though I did feel better a little, I still felt empty and dead inside; like I was a lost body, my soul sucked from me without warning.  
  
Sanosuke and Megumi got married, Kenshin's techniques became bettter than ever, Suzume and Ayame were growing quickly, but I seemed to be stuck in a stand-still. Nowhere to go; the past is over, and nowhere to go in the future.  
  
I visited Kaoru everyday and sometimes I talked to her. I'd tell her what had been happening in my life and other things, things I wouldn't feel comfortable telling anyone else beside her. Once, I even brought her some soba noodles, she used to like those. I left them at her tombstone; the birds at them. To me, Kaoru was still alive in a sense... She was there beside me, or that's what I wanted myself to believe.  
  
~Spring's evenings~  
  
Kaoru, are you okay? Are you happy where you are? I miss you, you know; I really do. Sometimes it seems like I'm the only one who misses you anymore. I don't know if it'll make you feel any better or not, but I tried one of your recipes for soup that I never tried before; it was good. I wish you could have made it for me though.  
  
"Yahiko, what are you doing?" Kenshin asked as he entered the training room. I had been meditating there, well, talking to Kaoru. I opened my eyes slowly and looked up at Kenshin who sat down beside me. "What are you doing?" Kenshin repeated gently.  
  
"Meditating."  
  
"Yahiko, even since you were a young boy, you never meditated," Kenshin laughed.  
  
"I was talking to Kaoru," I told him softly. Kenshin smiled gently and looked at the room we were in.  
  
"I do too. I miss her too, you know; you're not the only one," Kenshin said.  
  
"Once, I made her some soba noodles," I said.  
  
"I know, I saw. That was very good of you, Yahiko. In truth, I do believe that out of all of us, she would have missed you the most, Yahiko-kun."  
  
"No, it would have been you, Kenshin. I was just her apprentice, a stubborn student of her's."  
  
"Yahiko, what did I ever do for Miss Kaoru? The fact that she saved you from the Yakuza all those years ago, doesn't that prove she saw something in you that was worth fighting for? She saw talent in you, Yahiko, and besides, I think you grew on her too," Kenshin told me. I gave a small laugh.  
  
"Yeah...thanks," I said despondently. There was a silence between us for a moment.  
  
"Yahiko, are you giving up the sword?" Kenshin asked me. I sighed.  
  
"Yes, I am."  
  
"Because of Kaoru?" Kenshin asked. He didn't wait for my reply, he knew the answer. "Don't you think she would have wanted more for you to continue in what you knew and add more to the style, and teach others the Kamiya Kasshin?"  
  
"Maybe. But after she died, I just couldn't do it anymore; I couldn't hold the sword in my hands without trembling." Kenshin sighed.  
  
"Yes, I know what it's like. There have been times I've thought of all the people I have killed when I was known as the Battousai, and it makes me sick. At times like those I never wanted to pick up a sword again. And to this day, if I was not obligated to, I would drop my sword for the last time. But I already have tied my life to it, so I can't leave that lifestlye, it's a part of me now; I'm bound to it." Kenshin paused. "But you still have a chance, Yahiko. Don't spend your time like this; you have to keep moving forward."  
  
I swallowed the sobs gathering in my throat.  
  
"Don't tell me that, Kenshin. You can't imagine what it was like to hold that sword. You just can't even begin to imagine the emotional stress. It's like it isn't right, like it shouldn't happen..." I faded off in last attempt to somehow disprove what Kenshin was saying, before I surrendered to his words.  
  
"Yahiko, soon, the wounds will heal and close," Kenshin said. He stood from where he was and gave me one last supportive look before leaving.  
  
"But the scar will always remain..." I whispered. "The scar will always remain, won't it?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Strange ending for a chapter, huh? 


	3. Moving On Isn't Easy

"Eventually the wounds will heal and close." I thought about what Kenshin had said. The wounds will eventually heal and close. But there will always be the scar. It's hard for me to pretend that I don't care she's gone. I won't just pretend it doesn't matter and that it had no impact on my life, like how it did. Kaoru is dead. She's gone. She isn't coming back. I was tired of being sad; of course I always would, just as the scar.  
  
I stood and opened a fusuma that led to a coolish outside.Grey clouds floated slowly overhead. I stepped down from the porch I had come out on, onto the ground. I looked up to the sky, at the soon breaking clouds. There was a roll of thunder in the distance as a single tear fell down my cheek.  
  
This is the last time, Kaoru. This is the last time I'm crying over you. Though my wound is little less fresh than it was that day months ago, I have to allow myself to heal. Just tell me you're with me always. Then this will be the last time. I'm not crying anymore. This is the last time, Kaoru. I don't want to cry anymore.  
  
My stomach heaved inward and I gave a gasp. I let myself fall to the ground and layed on my back, staring up at the grey sky. Giving a sob, a tear slid down my cheek and light droplets of rain began to fall.  
  
This is the last time. I'm not crying anymore. I'm not crying...  
  
I shivered in the cool air and the rain, as rain and tears fell down my face indistinctly. All over again, the sorrow and grief, the anger and hopelessness all flooded back now to memory, as fresh as it was the day she died. And all over again, I wanted reality to just stop.  
  
When I had finished crying, and the rain had slowed to a drizzle, I stood from the ground and dusted myself off. By a river where I sometimes practiced, I gathered a small bundle of flowers and found myself in front of the Shuei Yakuza once again, not since the last years that Kaoru was live.  
  
It looked as it always did, so familiar, but not welcoming. Foot imprints in the muddy sand and dirt around it had been mostly flooded over by the rain. I felt nothing for this place anymore; not even sadness or anger, simply nothing. I was entirely indifferent to this place now, it no longer meant anything.  
  
Approaching the steps and low porch, I set the flowers down on the porch, sheltering them from the rain. I stood at the steps and bowed my head for a moment. After a moment, I raised my head.  
  
"I'm sorry, Kaoru. I miss you." I left the Yakuza to go back home, to try and move on.  
  
At the dojo, I found myself again in Kaoru's invisible presence, in the training room. Unused swords lined the walls, indicating a time when they were once before, but put away for seemingly the last time.  
  
"You are the heir of the Kamiya Kasshin. Kaoru would've wanted you to carry on the tradition taught to her by her father, and then you can teach it to others, and bring it even farther. Yahiko, you are the heir. You can keep Kaoru's presence alive." That seemed like something Kenshin would say to me. But could I believe it myself? Could I find the strength to continue what she had taught me? Could I live with that wound? I could try. Maybe Kaoru would've wanted it. Could I pick up a sword once again?  
  
I unsteadily approached a wrack of wooden swords and pulled one out. It was several years old and had been used many times before, but still good. I put the wooden practice sword back. I walked across the long, wooden planks of the floor to the other end. I knew Kaoru's sword was here, from looking in this place when I came here. This was the last place she put it before she died. I approached the sword and with a quivering hand, and touched it. I wrapped my hand around the handle and pulled the long sword out. It was like a sudden, overwhelming glimpse of beauty. I walked to the center of the long, rectangular room. For a moment, the sword only stayed at my side.  
  
I raised it slowly, remembering a form Kaoru used to practice when she wasn't teaching me. I secretly used to love to watch her when she practiced, and I began to memorize it myself. I patiently waited for memory to kick in. I knew every step and movement by heart, but I had never dared try it myself before. I thrust the sword forward and heard the air swish. I turned around and sliced, twirling a circle over my head as I turned back with her sword. There was a kick here, I knew, and another slice.  
  
And then, suddenly, I was done. I stopped from where I was, and bowed and felt my knees weaken from pressure. I collapsed on the floor and held myself for a moment, panting, trying to keep myself together.  
  
"Kaoru, you didn't have to die," I whispered throatily. "Didn't you have a choice? Didn't you try to stop him before he killed you?" I recieved no answer and I became very aware of the silence swallowing the room. "If you could've stopped him, why didn't you? Did you want to die? Did you want us all to be sad and mourn over you?" I said softly. Again, there was no reply, not that I expected one. "So, you're dead? Is that how it's going to work out? I guess so; I know you can't be brought back," I said. "I still wish you could've though. But, I need to move on," I said and slowly found the strength to stand up. I hugged myself for a moment before I hung my head again and closed my eyes, resisting back the tears that begged to pour from my eyes, as if to never stop. "You were my family, and I loved you as my friend, a real, true friend," I said finally.  
  
~Spring can heal wounds like no remedy~  
  
Sunlight streamed into the dojo and I stood confidantly there. I raised Kaoru's old sword and approached a young boy swinging disorderly and without grace. I stood by him and raised the sword in front of me and pulled down, completing a forward swipe.  
  
"Just aim, and swipe; don't try and put too much force behind it yet, and keep it straight," I instructed the boy. A memory of me when I was younger, practicing, came to mind. He nodded and continued to practice his swiping technique as I walked away.  
  
Am I doing what's right Kaoru? Do you want this? I thought. Is this good? What you've hoped for? I want to take this farther, I want to take the Kamiya Kasshin and teach its ways, so that it can continue into the next generation. This is right, isn't it Kaoru?  
  
At the other end of the room was a more advanced student, trying to master a different technique. I stood beside him and showed him the technique properly.  
  
"You almost have it. And once the sword is in place here, you have to make sure you turn it just enough so that it finishes with a clean cut," I said to the boy who nodded. I stepped away and watched the boys and girls who were my students. I sincerely hoped I could inspire in them a real love for the Kamiya Kasshin as Kaoru had in me so many years ago.  
  
Kaoru, the last time I saw you...  
  
The End ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
That was a short, little nice story I wrote with a nice finish. It was short, but did you like it? 


End file.
